Sunday, June 15, 2014

Why Hollywood Can't Tell the Difference Between a Dragon and Wyvern

A crisis is on our hands, for at least some of us.  Hollywood and other companies are in big trouble.  They have committed the unholy crime of distorting culture.  How.  Dragons. 

Don't get me wrong, I like Game of Thrones.  I really do.  What I have a problem with is that everyone thinks that Game of Thrones has dragons in it.  There they are wrong, and George R. R. Martin should have known better than that.  Dragons are four limbed two winged creatures.  They have two forearms, two hind legs, and two bat like wings.  A wyvern is a two limbed two winged beast.  It has two hind legs, absolutely no forearms, and two wings. 

Hollywood lies people!  Ever since Harry Potter, those crazy heads have constantly mixed up dragons with wyverns.  Skyrim and Game of Thrones are two very obvious examples.  Examples where they got it right are Dragonheart and Eragon. 

To some and many, they may not care.  To someone whose favorite character that he wanted to be friends with as a child was four limbed two winged dragon that could talk and was friendly, it really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really MATTERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's not just that.  I worry that the populace will think that wyverns are dragons when they are really not dragons at all.  It's draconic but it is not a dragon.  Consider it as a species within the draconic family.  It's like how all squares are rectangles but not all rectangles are squares. 

Why and how has Hollywood gotten this messed up, I have no idea.  Perhaps as you will see below they will utter the excuse, "It's artistic interpretation!" in a whiny nasal voice, to which I say, you scully naves, you have no knowledge of true culture!  I fear they will say, the computer animation simulation works more to realistic terms if the "dragons" don't have forearms.  To which I say, What about Toothless.  He's got four limbs and two wings.  You were saying? in a mocking tone. 

Some of you may disagree with me.  Some of you may argue it's an artistic interpretation, That it is a mere choice of representing something that isn't even real.  You may say, they're all dragons in my book.  Well your book is missing some very important pages.  Forgive my bluntness but I can't allow such...whatever it is to go on without fixing it.  It's wrong.  Simple as that.  If an object has a specific name you cannot call it something else.  It's wrong. 

You still don't care.  Fine.  I get it.  But I cannot allow this to go on.  Dragons are not wyverns and wyverns are not dragons.  The only way I'm going to fix this is by writing something that will show you my vision of what they are supposed to look like.  I hope that will fix it. 


People of the world.  We cannot allow this to occur.  This a terrible accident.  Will we allow fellow citizens to continue walking about this earth ignorant of the truth?  Never!  We must fight back and teach them the lore and legends and features about dragons, and sue Hollywood's butt off for doing it wrong! 

This depends on you fellow readers.  Keep telling people the truth about how dragons really look.  Hollywood! I'm watching you.  Be on your guard, cause this dragon's got a lot of firepower ready to blow its top!!!!  You better run!!

Starvix Draxon

A Game of Dragons?!

A Game of Dragons?!  What's this all about?!  All this riff raff saying how dark it is.  I've read two reviews, one in the Houston Chronicle, one in Time Magazine.  I'm absolutely terrified!  What does any of this mean? 

I guess what really irks me is that they're labeling it A Game of Dragons.  That to me is just... I don't know, kind of weird or rather wrong.  It shows how crazed society is about Game of Thrones.  Don't get me wrong, I like Game of Thrones...even, though, I, haven't, really, watched it, yet.... Awkward Silence.

I guess it just sort of scares me that people would compare How to Train Your Dragon 2 a children's movie, (supposedly) to an extremely adult television show.  I haven't seen the film yet and now I'm very nervous to even see it.  I'm frightened because I worry that like almost all sequels it will flunk and plunder and just be an utter disgrace. 

I hope I'm wrong and I still want to see it.  I will give a film review of it as soon as I see it. 

Starvix Draxon